The Troma Team has released some of the most inane (and intentionally so) movies into circulation, such as The Toxic Avenger, Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. and The Class of Nuke ‘Em High. So, when I saw Monster in the Closet‘s box at the video store, the Troma logo indicated to me that the movie would be several things, namely intentionally stupid and very low-budget. For the most part, those assumptions were correct. Unfortunately, the movie is not very funny and very disappointing.
Several people have been killed in the small California town of Chestnut Hills. Apparently, something pulled them into their closets and left some telling wounds on their necks. A San Francisco reporter named Richard Clark (Donald Grant) longs to move up from his job writing obituaries. When he asks for a more exciting assignment, the editor of the paper and the current star reporter, Scoop (Frank Ashmore), give him the “closet murders” story as a joke. When it turns out that a monster is responsible for the killings, Scoop moves in to steal the story back from Clark.
This movie is unusual in that, for a low budget film, it has an exceptionally talented group of actors participating, such as Howard Duff (from TV’s Knots Landing), Henry Gibson (from Laugh-In), Paul Dooley (from Sixteen Candles), Stella Stevens, John Carradine, and Claude Akins (from TV’s Sheriff Lobo.) None of them are used particularly well, but it’s interesting to see them in such a bargain-basement production. In fact, Troma boss Lloyd Kaufman explains in the film’s introduction that Troma Productions had to rescue the film from financial problems.
The monster is pretty bad looking compared to high-budget films, but really not embarrassing for a low-budget film such as this. If anything’s really wrong with the creature, it’s the ridiculous growling and snarling noises it makes. They sound terrible. If done intentionally, they really don’t work as a joke. They just sound as if they were done by a lazy sound effects producer.
The core cast of Donald Grant, Denise DuBarry (as the love interest of sorts) and Paul Walker, as the obligatory smart kid who has an idea to stop the monster, are all fairly good in their roles. They come of as affable and somewhat amusing. Everything else pretty much fails to inspire laughter or much else in the form of a reaction.
It’s obvious that some thought, planning and effort were expended in making Monster in the Closet, but it just doesn’t work on any consistent level. It’s neither funny, scary, or even bad enough to recommend for any camp relevance. It’s simply a bland movie through and through.
0.5 out of 5.0 stars
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