1972’s The Poseidon Adventure was among the first of the 1970s big budget disaster movies, which included later films like Earthquake, The Towering Inferno, and Hindenburg. All of those movies had the following in common: big casts, big effects, and big melodrama. 2006’s Poseidon, a remake of The Poseidon Adventure, has a relatively large cast and big effects, but skips the melodrama. Believe it or not, that’s a bad thing.
Poseidon takes place on New Year’s Eve aboard a huge cruise ship called, appropriately enough, Poseidon. As the film begins, we’re briefly introduced to a number of characters who remain virtually anonymous beyond the fact that they’re all passengers on a cruise ship and are impossibly attractive. Shortly after midnight, a huge rogue wave topples the ship and leaves it floating upside down.
Former fireman Ramsey (Kurt Russell) teams up with former Navy man Dylan (Josh Lucas) to lead a small group of survivors to safety. Ramsey is soon reunited with his daughter (Emmy Rossum) and her boyfriend (Mike Vogel). Coming along for no apparent reason are Nelson (Richard Dreyfuss), Elena (Mia Maestro), Maggie (Jacinda Barrett) and her son, Conor (Jimmy Bennett).
Not one character in the movie has any more personality than the film’s special effects. There’s no reason to give a damn about any one person as the group struggles through the obstacle course of the upside down Poseidon. What little background information we are given about the characters only prompts more questions. For example, why is Richard Dreyfuss’ character gay? Aside from wearing an earring and referring to a former lover as “he”, it serves no purpose in the story. Also, Kurt Russell’s character was a fireman but why does he also have to be the former mayor of New York? Very puzzling and unnecessary.
Compared to the original, which was nominated for 9 Academy Awards, Poseidon does not improve on anything other than the special effects. Trying to convey what might happen to a large cruise ship that’s hit by a gigantic tidal wave gives Poseidon’s makers ample opportunity to showcase a large amount of visual pyrotechnics. It’s just too bad they’re all wasted on a film that serves no other purpose.
Poseidon is a marvelous CGI tech demo but, as compelling drama, it falls flat on its face.
2.0 out of 5.0 stars
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