Although the original 1978 Piranha was written off by many as a ripoff of the then-current Jaws, the 2010 remake earned a reputation for being completely over-the-top in the sex and gore department. Thanks to a clever cameo by Richard Dreyfuss, numerous scenes of gratuitous nudity, and a gag involving a three dimensional severed penis, Piranha 3D somehow charmed itself into enough young, over-sexed hearts to earn a sequel. And, of course, director John Gulager and writers Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunston, and Joel Soisson have taken all of those qualities — including another celebrity cameo — and amplified them. That ought to make Piranha DD an even better movie, right? Not even close.
Piranha DD continues the franchise by moving the action from Lake Victoria, Arizona, which has been turned into a ghost town following the events of the first movie, to a newly-opened adult-themed waterpark in Merkin County. The park, named The Big Wet, is owned by Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) and her horn-dog stepfather, Chet (David Koechner). Since Chet owns 51% of the park, he’s decided that it should feature such attractions as “water-certified stripper lifeguards” and a walled-off “adult pool” with accompanying condom vending machine. Maddy is appalled at these additions but can do nothing about them.
The piranha are soon discovered in the lake into which the waterpark’s runoff is drained. Maddy consults with the piranha expert from the first film, Dr. Goodman (Christopher Lloyd,) and finds that the piranha have the ability to chew through metal. She fears that they’ll eat their way through the drains, get into the waterpark, and eat the patrons. Of course, this wouldn’t be much of a film if they didn’t.
Piranha DD tries too hard to be as gross-out funny as its predecessor. There are some actual laugh-out-loud moments but those seem to happen by accident because they’re so few and far-between. Most of them are sandwiched between scenes featuring a flatulent (and exploding) cow, blood-soaked breasts, bad sexual puns, and a romantic subplot that’s so lame it seemed to be included for no reason other than to fulfill some contractual obligation. David Hasselhoff makes an appearance in the latter part of the movie. Playing on his persona as the washed-up “Baywatch” star, Hasselhoff’s scenes do manage to be somewhat funny.
Where Piranha DD does shine, albeit not all the time, is in the special effects department. The killer fish look much more realistic in many scenes than they did in the original film. Gorehounds will be disappointed, however, that there is nowhere near as much carnage this time around.
Because the script is so focused on mining every sexual innuendo it can, there’s precious little time or room for any suspense or actual scares. So, the audience is subjected to cheap jump-scares over-and-over again. Most of the time, they’re so predictable they misfire as often as the attempts at humor.
Of course, calling out Piranha DD for being low brow completely misses the point and those looking for naked breasts, severed penises, and ridiculous horror clichés will get exactly what they want out of it. Anyone looking for a truly funny and even slightly scary killer fish movie should check out the original 1978 Piranha.
2.0 out of 5.0 stars
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