If you’ve ever longed for the days of Reagan-era, “eye for an eye” revenge action, Death Kiss will probably thrill you.
When I first saw the trailer for Death Kiss, I couldn’t believe my eyes. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought 1970s-era Charles Bronson had come back to life to star in a follow-up to the Death Wish series. After a quick Google search, I found that the man playing “Bronson” was none other than Robert “Bronzi” Kovacs, a Hungarian actor/stuntman. Other than that, I don’t know much about Kovacs. Whether it’s sheer genetic luck or lots of plastic surgery, it doesn’t really matter. He is the spitting image of the late, great Charles Bronson.
Death Kiss takes advantage of Kovacs’ doppelgänger looks by casting him as a carbon copy of Paul Kersey, the character Bronson played in Death Wish. Known only as “The Stranger” in the credits and identifying himself as “K” in the movie, he hunts down and kills street thugs, drug dealers, and petty criminals seemingly at random. Initially, there doesn’t seem to be any motivation for his vigilantism until we meet Ana (Eva Hamilton). A single mother, Ana lives with her wheelchair-bound daughter, Isabel (Leia Perez.) Ana receives mysterious envelopes full of cash in her mailbox. Of course, they come from “The Stranger” but neither Ana or the audience knows why. At least, not until the final act of the movie.
The plot is strung together with monologues from Dan Forthright (Daniel Baldwin,) a talk radio shock jock who spouts intolerant racist rhetoric. Forthright begs for someone to take the law into their hands and help the stop drug dealers, sex trafficking, and rapists that are overrunning the world as he sees it. And “The Stranger” does just that. But there’s never a justification for the way he’s able to immediately know where crime is occurring or who is responsible. He just shows up, shoots first, and doesn’t bother asking any questions.
As fun as it is to see someone who looks like Charles Bronson do Bronson-like things, Robert Kovacs is not Charles Bronson. He lacks Bronson’s steely charisma and flair for humor. Kovacs’ voice is overdubbed by someone else and he’s only given one or two word utterances from time-to-time. The novelty wears off quickly. Sadly, the rest of the movie doesn’t have much else to offer. There’s no chemistry between Ana and “The Stranger.” Kindergarten Cop‘s Richard Tyson turns up to be the main antagonist but the script does not work in his favor. Overall, the acting is universally abysmal and the story makes little sense if you think about it for, oh, thirty seconds.
If you’ve ever longed for the days of Reagan-era, “eye for an eye” revenge action, Death Kiss will probably thrill you. Unfortunately, that’s all it has to offer.
1.5 out of 5.0 stars
