For an Asylum production, Battledogs is easily one of their more coherent efforts.
Known mainly for producing extremely low budget mockbuster movies like Megalodon, Paranormal Entity, and Transmorphers, The Asylum occasionally attempts to tackle an original idea. One such movie is 2013’s Battledogs, starring Craig Sheffer (TV’s One Tree Hill), Dennis Haysbert (TV’s 24), and Kate Vernon (TV’s Battlestar Galactica,) which features werewolves that attack New York City en masse.
As the film opens, a wildlife photographer named Donna (Ariana Richards, best known as Lexi from Jurassic Park) lands at JFK International Airport. She doesn’t feel well, so she heads to the restroom and promptly turns into a giant, wolf-like creature. Busting out of the bathroom stall, Donna begins biting everyone in her path at the crowded airport. Some die but those who don’t also turn into giant, wolf-like creatures thanks to a virus in the Donna’s saliva. Soon, the entire concourse is crawling with murderous lycanthropes.
The military arrives and we’re introduced to two distinct characters: Major Hoffman (Sheffer) and General Monning (Haysbert). It’s immediately apparent which one is the good guy, and which one is bad. Hoffman wants to save as many people as possible from the virus, including those that are infected. However, Monning has plans to weaponize the virus and doesn’t care who has to die in the process. Caught in the middle are patient zero Donna and Dr. Ellen Gordon (Vernon), a CDC scientist responsible for developing a cure from Donna’s blood.
Battledogs starts off strong with the wild opening sequence in the airport. Aside from the dodgy CGI used to portray the wolves, it’s a surprisingly effective set-up. From there, the movie settles into a series of events that don’t demand much thought from the viewer. We never learn why the virus exists. They’re never called werewolves by name. All we learn is that an accelerated heart rate is all that’s required to trigger the change from human to wolf. That’s the extent of the explanation we’re given. The script by Asylum veteran Shane Van Dyke (Chernobyl Diaries) doesn’t let reason or logic get in the way of a good time.
Due to the completely absurd premise, the dialogue is understandably sketchy. Haysbert’s General Monning sounds particularly obsessed with reining in the wolves in order to test their ability to follow orders. The rest of the military-types bark orders that sound vaguely authoritarian. Sprinkle in some pseudo-scientific babble about antibodies and mutation and, bingo, the script writes itself. Yet, there are still some impressive moments. A scene where Hoffman attempts to appeal to one of the creature’s humanity comes to mind.
No matter how ludicrous the plots are in these Asylum/Syfy collaborations, the cast always plays it straight. Watching the likes of Haysbert, Sheffer, Vernon, Wes Studi, and Bill Duke resist the urge to crack up while delivering their lines is half the fun. (To his credit, Duke pulls off the role of the president quite effectively.)
For an Asylum production, Battledogs is easily one of their more coherent efforts. Against all odds, it manages to be a mindless good time. Just don’t expect much.
2.5 out of 5.0 stars
