Some of the jokes don’t land due to poor timing or bad editing but the majority aren’t even mildly amusing.
With the advent of affordable computer graphics programs, independent filmmakers are capable of adding special effects to their movies that were once only possible with millions of dollars of equipment. Unfortunately, most don’t take the time to make them look anywhere near as good as those older, more expensive effects.
One sub-genre of the horror film that has seen explosive growth in the past decade is the killer shark movie. With cheap CGI, a fake-looking shark can be placed anywhere. This has led to movies like House Shark, Avalanche Sharks, and Ghost Shark. But just because they can, doesn’t necessarily mean they should. Case in point is Raiders of the Lost Shark. The poster/cover art promises a huge shark chasing after a jet ski while being followed by helicopters. The movie delivers nothing that resembles what’s represented in the artwork. It doesn’t even come close.
The plot centers around a lake in Ontario. Calling it a lake is generous as, in most scenes, it appears to be slightly bigger than a pond. A group of college students decide to take a trip to a supposedly forbidden island spurred on by a story involving their professor. One-by-one, different people wade into the water — which appears to be about two feet deep — and get eaten by a poorly animated, growling shark.
Oh, there’s some nonsense about a company drilling for oil and releasing a prehistoric shark in the process. There’s a sheriff who prefers napping to doing his job. And there are some tourists who show up at the lake for the sole purpose of being shark fodder. But that’s about it. There’s a “twist” at the end involving the shark but it’s so ludicrous that I’d rather not mention it. And, no, there’s no explanation for the movie’s title.
Due to what I’m assuming are budgetary reasons, most of the scenes take place outside and are filmed in whatever natural light was available. One of the characters says she wants to “lay out under the stars” and it’s clearly daytime. It’s difficult to judge the passing of time because every scene is lit by the sun (or lack of it as it’s frequently cloudy.) The loving care applied to the movie’s continuity factors into all other facets of its construction. The acting is abysmal, the special effects are lousy, and the script is barely coherent. Even the musical score is annoying.
And, yes, I understand that the movie is supposedly a comedy. However, what director Brett Kelly and writer David A. Lloyd consider funny consistently falls short of my admittedly low standards. Some of the jokes don’t land due to poor timing or bad editing but the majority aren’t even mildly amusing. The only humor I found was in Scott McClelland’s performance as Captain Steuben. (Okay, when one of the students accidentally called him Captain Stubing, I laughed. That’s the best joke in the entire 71-minute running time.)
Even if you like campy shark movies like Santa Jaws or Trailer Park Shark, this one will make you cringe. As bad shark movies go, Raiders of the Lost Shark is absolutely one of the worst I’ve ever seen.
0.5 out of 5.0 stars
